Burn It All Down, Buddy

What happens when Ghost Brothers: Fright Club watches paranormal footage and comments on it—and then we watch them watching paranormal footage and comment on that?

A very meta evening, apparently.

This episode came from a suggestion in our Patreon group chat after Lisha sent us a screenshot of Marcus Harvey in drag. Obviously, we were immediately sold. We let the dice choose our fate, and they sent us to Season 1, Episode 2, “Phantom Photobomb.”

The premise of Fright Club is simple: Jack Osbourne and the Ghost Brothers—Dalen Spratt, Juwan Mass, and Marcus Harvey—bring in paranormal clips and compete to see who can scare the others the most. There are experts, witnesses, questionable evidence, surprisingly convincing evidence, and a great deal of yelling.

In other words, it’s right in our wheelhouse.

Harbingers, UFOs, and Dave Schrader

The first clip featured the Grey Man of Pawleys Island, a legendary apparition said to appear before dangerous storms along the South Carolina coast. Unlike many supernatural harbingers, the Grey Man isn’t there to frighten people. He reportedly appears as a warning—and according to the legend, those who see him will be protected from the storm.

The footage showed a pale figure moving along the shoreline during severe weather. Was it a ghost, a cloud, or an extremely dedicated weather reporter? We weren’t entirely convinced, but we liked the idea of a helpful ghost who shows up to tell everyone to get off the beach.

The segment also featured Minnesota’s own Dave Schrader, which naturally led us to invite him onto our show through the television. We’re not sure that counts as official outreach, but the universe has now been informed.

Next came several tiny objects flying through the sky at astonishing speeds. The witnesses believed they had captured small UFOs or advanced drone technology. Megan remained deeply unimpressed. To her, they looked like birds—and no amount of zooming, slow motion, or anonymous government intrigue was going to change that.

Absolutely Not, Buddy

Then we met Buddy.

Buddy is a small clown doll dressed in yellow and kept inside an ornate glass-and-metal display case. His previous owners reportedly experienced relationship problems, job losses, and even deaths after bringing him into their homes.

Because keeping the allegedly cursed murder clown inside your house apparently wasn’t concerning enough, Buddy’s caretaker placed an infrared camera in front of his case overnight.

The footage appeared to show the case door moving, Buddy sitting up, and the door opening as if the doll had kicked it.

No.

Absolutely not.

Burn it all down, Buddy.

An expert advised treating haunted objects respectfully and suggested giving Buddy to someone who knows how to handle dangerous spiritual attachments. Jack proposed sending him to someone he dislikes, which seems like an excellent way to turn a haunted-doll problem into a haunted-doll problem plus terrible karma.

We would still love to talk with a haunted-object expert on the podcast. If that’s you—or you happen to know one—please get in touch. We have questions. So many questions.

What Did Mark Batch Catch?

Another clip came from a music store in Brighton, England, where security cameras appeared to capture a pale figure moving through the shop. Unfortunately, Megan missed the apparition because she was too busy developing a joke about the witness’s name.

His name was Mark Batch.

What did Mark Batch catch?

A ghost, apparently.

The store’s cameras also recorded two electric guitars swinging on the wall while the guitars around them remained still. This led to an important scientific discussion about how electric guitars work.

Amy offered a completely unverified theory involving vibration, frequency, and sound circulating through the hollow part of the guitar. Megan admitted that her theory was simply that “a machine” lived inside it.

We are smart in other ways.

Are Funeral Homes Actually Haunted?

When the show asked where people might expect to find the most paranormal activity, funeral homes and cemeteries were obvious answers. But are they really?

Most people don’t die in funeral homes or cemeteries. They also may have no emotional attachment to the place where their body was prepared or buried. If spirits tend to remain near locations that mattered to them in life, wouldn’t homes, workplaces, hospitals, and favorite gathering places make more sense?

Then Megan pointed out that funeral homes hold a tremendous amount of grief and emotional energy, which could potentially create residual activity.

She successfully talked herself out of—and then straight back into—believing funeral homes could be haunted.

Anything can be haunted. We’ve established that.

The cemetery discussion also led Megan to share a beautiful dream about her grandmother. She always knows within these dreams that her grandmother has died, which makes every visit feel like a special gift. During this particular dream, her grandmother rested her head on Megan’s shoulder and asked Megan to scratch her scalp, just as she had done when her grandmother was alive.

Not her soldier. Her shoulder.

Megan had already dismissed the soldier for inadequate soldiering.

Shadowologists, Friendly Grannies, and Knife-Throwing Ghosts

The episode introduced us to a shadow-figure expert, forcing us to ask the obvious question: What is the correct professional title?

Shadowtician?

Shadowteer?

Shadowologist?

And how does one become a shadow-figure expert? Is there coursework involved, or do you simply declare yourself one and begin taking appointments?

The “frightening round” gave us several more clips, including a glowing human-shaped figure inside a bed-and-breakfast. The others found it creepy, but Megan saw a nice, friendly granny made of light who gives warm hugs and provides excellent selfie lighting.

We would stay with Light Granny.

We would not stay with the entity throwing knives out of a kitchen cabinet.

Theories included poltergeist activity and an infestation of angry beavers. As Megan noted, who among us hasn’t dealt with angry beavers on a Tuesday night?

The Spider That Helped Mom Move

The episode’s “stay, run, or burn it down” format naturally reminded us of the enormous spider Amy recently discovered in her mom’s room.

Amy initially tried to pretend she hadn’t seen it. Unfortunately, her mom noticed Amy taking a picture and asked about it. The spider then crawled beneath a stuffed animal and positioned itself directly in the stuffed animal’s crotch.

Megan diagnosed it as the largest bird-eating spider in the world and prescribed a flamethrower, holy water, wafers, a rosary, an old priest, and a young priest.

The spider did accomplish one useful thing: Amy’s mom had been uncertain about moving to a new facility, but after seeing it, she announced that she was ready to leave.

Thank you for your service, terrifying crotch spider.

Please never return.

Just Leave Bigfoot Alone

The final evidence included a strange figure photographed near a campsite and footage of an enormous creature walking along a Utah mountainside.

The campsite figure was identified by one expert as a possible Wendigo. The mountain creature was, naturally, identified as Bigfoot.

Megan would like everyone to stop looking for him.

If Bigfoot is real, proving his existence will only lead to humans attempting to capture him, study him, monetize him, and force him to appear at press conferences. Maybe he knows exactly what he’s doing and has chosen a quiet life in the mountains because he doesn’t want anything to do with us.

Frankly, that would make Bigfoot the smartest one in this story.

Overall, we had a great time with Ghost Brothers: Fright Club. The format is fun, the Ghost Brothers are always entertaining, and the collection of evidence gave us plenty to debate.

But Buddy can stay inside his cage.

Preferably inside another cage.

At someone else’s house.

On another continent.